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Have you ever noticed that some people have your immediate respect while others do not? And have you observed that some people have great ideas but nothing happens with them? Do you know people who say they will do something but never do it? Do you say that you’ll do something while you have no intention of doing it? Or do you often say that you’ll do things out of politeness, but know that you never will do them?

When we say that we’ll do something,

we create an expectation in our listeners. If I tell you that I’ll call you at a certain time, I’m setting you up to expect my call. If I say that I’ll call and have no intention to call while saying it, I’m false or too cowardly to tell things straight. I mean well, of course – I want to be polite because I can’t bring myself to tell you that I don’t want to call you…

But if I have no intention of calling, would I not be more polite and respectful if I didn’t say anything if I couldn’t bring myself to say that I wouldn’t call? If I tell you that I’ll call and don’t, I project the image that I’m not trustworthy. You cannot count on my word in future. I’m downgrading the weight of my word and placing myself in the crowd of sheeple who do the same thing. This may seem harsh, but if it describes your familiar habit, this article helps you to see its consequences. I used the example of calling you. Of course, this principle applies no matter what the action be.

What can you do to gain respect?

If you want to be credible and respected, only say that you will do something if you will really do it. Hold your breath and count to 10 before speaking out impulse-driven sentences that others will take as your word of commitment. Make this a rule and follow it. If you have to miss a deadline, communicate a new deadline as soon as possible. This will earn you a lot of respect and trust from everyone.

Details and the big picture

Successful people identify where to place the attention. People often get lost in the details when m

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Change of habits is not merely a matter of knowledge or skill. If that was true, then all information campaigns on how to improve your health would have made behaviour-related illnesses a thing of the past. We would all be slim and rich and teenage girls would not get pregnant. Sadly, many people fail to create lasting changes in their behaviours and repeat their failures again and again…

Have you ever tried to break bad habits?

The key to creating and maintaining behavioral change is in getting and staying motivated. Some people start lifestyle changes that last a few weeks at best. The attendance figures at health clubs in January and February show you the people who began very motivated and lost their passion. Other people wish they could do something, but never work up the motivation to begin. The title of comedian Totie Fields’ book I Think I’ll Start on Monday: The official 8 1/2oz Mashed Potato Diet sums it up. She also said: “I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks”.

Can crisis motivate change?

Conventional social work theory suggests that the highest potential for change is in crisis. This seems logical, since during a crisis nothing is normal and there is the opportunity to make important decisions about the future. Organizations often try to make radical shifts when they face financial or other disasters. But if crisis really is the highest potential time for change, then why do 90% of coronary bypass patients not make long-term changes to their behaviour after surgery?

Because breaking habits requires both short-term and long-term motivation strategies.

When a crisis triggers someone to want to do something differently, it can be effective for the short term. This is motivation away from something, because the person is motivated to move away from a situation they do not want. If you're motivated to read on, do so at https://light-bringer-world.com/habits as I cannot fit more characters into the body of this blog.

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Valentine’s Day was established by papal decree in 496AD as a day to celebrate our intimate relationships with those we love most deeply. At that time it wasn’t connected with romantic love. In the high Middle Ages during the time of development of courtly love as a tradition Geoffrey Chaucer changed that. Since that time we see Valentine’s Day as a shorthand for what an intimate relationship or marriage should look like. Starry-eyed, blissful, sweet, easy, sexual, and everloving might describe our expectations of intimate relationships. But like most things in life, when we truly take a look, we see much more complexity…

This article will give you the opportunity

to examine and learn to improve the critical moods that make or break your intimate relationships. And you will be able to apply the learning to your relationships with lovers, companions, courtesans, etc. In every marriage and intimate relationship there are moods that serve building the relationship and those that have a deleterious effect. Moods are not inherently good or bad, but they either serve or restrict us in a particular situation. Here are some that we can distinguish more clearly in intimate relationships:

Compassion vs. pity

Compassion means being with another person in their pain. To pity is to see another person as needing us to pull them up to our level of understanding. In compassion we place ourselves on the same human level as our partner, while in pity we tend to look down on them and their plight. How many times have you opted for pity rather than compassion in your relationships? How often have you been tempted to believe that it was your job to fix your partner or their situation rather than simply stand with them and trust them to navigate life for themselves?

Service vs. sacrifice

Many of us grow up with the admonishment to help others. Some of us learn that the right way to be a partner is to take care of the other’s every wish and need. What we aren’t often taught is to pa

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