I will not simper, I will not cater, I will not "treat you right" I will treat you how I feel like treating you. I will likely piss you off. I might make you laugh. I will look into your soul and i will see you, and that's probably terrifying. I would much rather give you what you need than what you think you want.

I will not be everyone's cup of tea. I'm a double shot of well liquor mixed with rumpleminz and the best mistake you could ever hope to make.
Here's my menu:
$150 = spiritual guidance, massage, awesome/and/or/funny lore, you leave better than you walked in.
$200 = all that and a blow job, and trust these mouth muscles work out.
$350 = full service, you provide a condom.
$400+ = Special/particular requests? Role play? Wardrobe? Kink? BDSMplay? My big no's are anal and water sports. Other than than I'm usually open for discussion and negotiation.